During my second year of college, I had an English teacher by the name of Mrs. Simmons. I will never forget her for one simple reason: She did something on the first day of class that I had never seen done before nor have I seen it done since. This would not be a significant statement if it were not for the fact that I have so much education under my belt. I have graduated from five different colleges with two Master’s degrees and one Doctorate degree. No one can accuse me of not being a supporter of higher education! As strange as it may sound, I would go back to school tomorrow if I had the time. I have an insatiable appetite for learning. I am not sure where I acquired it, but I am very grateful for it. I think it is important that we continue to learn and grow throughout life. But, anyway, let’s get back to Mrs. Simmons.
Our first day of class, Mrs. Simmons held up her grade book and showed us that beside our names she had allotted each of us 1000 points. I was immediately intrigued as I wondered why in the world we already had 1000 points by our names. Mrs. Simmons went on to explain that we would have ten tests in her English class that semester, each valued at 100 points. She was starting with the assumption that we would all make 100% on each of the ten tests. We had not even had the first test yet and we already had 1000 points. That was exciting!
Mrs. Simmons further explained that if we scored 90% on our first test, we would lose 10 points from our 1000 point total. We would then have 990 points or a 99% average. If we made an 80% on the next test, we would have 970 points remaining or a 97% average, and on she went. Then she smiled at us and said, “Just think, you all have an A+ right now, so work hard to keep it!”
I cannot explain what happened inside of me that day. I had never had a teacher to approach my grade in that manner. I think that in my mind I had always begun each new class with a zero, or an F. I began with the notion that I had to start at the bottom and work my way to the top. Now, all of a sudden things were different. Mrs. Simmons started us at the top!
How many teachers ever put you in a posture to succeed from the very first day of class? Each of us worked very hard in English that year, and oddly enough, we all ended up with very good grades. As I mentioned earlier, I had never seen that approach used before, and I have not seen it since.
I have thought about that many times through the years. Mrs. Simmons was probably the first teacher to help me understand a positive mental attitude in a way that I could actually receive it. I was just a young kid trying to get through school, but she had a different agenda. She wanted to actually motivate me. Many teachers just put the information out for students to get, if they want it. Their approach is less than motivating. Mrs. Simmons found a way to ignite a desire in each of us to do better; to keep the good grade that we had from day one.
In some strange way, I think Mrs. Simmons helped me to be more positive at an early age in my life. Even though subsequent teachers did not approach teaching the same way, I started saying to myself, “I have an A in this class. I’m going to work hard to keep it!” And, I succeeded more times than not. Academic success is not just about good grades; however, Mrs. Simmons worked some magic inside of my heart that continues to this day.
This week, let me encourage you to look for ways to help people get to the top by being positive and encouraging to them before they have to “earn” their way there. Dr. James Dobson has often said that it is better to give self-esteem to others before they earn it in order to teach them how good it feels to have it. I totally agree.
I like doing all I can to fill everyone’s cup with positive words of affirmation and love when I have the opportunity. You can do the same thing. We can make a difference in people’s lives! We can be Mrs. Simmons to someone this week.
Have a great week! God bless you!
Robert Rohm Ph.D.
Personality Insights, Inc.
Most of you know that I am a big Chick-fil-A fan. I usually eat at one of the local Chick-fil-A restaurants at least three or four times each week. The food is delicious and the service is fast and courteous. It seems to me that Chick-fil-A has raised the bar for all fast food restaurants to do a better job and to have a better product.
A couple of weeks ago when I was having lunch at Chick-fil-A, I asked the new owner-operator, Chris Darley, how he was doing. He answered, “I am green!” Well, that caught me a little off-guard. I did not know if he meant he was feeling sick or that he was green because he was new at his job and did not know what he was doing. I looked at him and asked, “You are green?” “Yes!” he said. “If you are green, you are growing; but if you are ripe, you are rotting!” Then it all made sense. What he meant was that he is green because he is in the process of learning, growing, developing, and becoming all that he can be in his job and personal life. He went on to explain, however, that if a person gets to the place of feeling as though they have “arrived” and does not need to learn anything else, then they are fully mature. At that point they may be beginning to rot. At any rate, Chris and I had a good laugh and I thanked him for his great insight. I also asked for his permission to share it with you in a Tip of the Week.
It really is true that all of us are on a journey. None of us knows everything. Even the wisest physician practicing medicine today will tell you that he or she is still learning. There are marvels of modern medicine that we continue to discover with each passing year.
I am so grateful that I have had mentors in my life who taught me the value of being hungry to continue to grow in every area of my life.
I think it is important that we all mature to the place that we are proficient in our own particular area of expertise. I believe that maturity and wisdom come with age, hard work, and learning the lessons life teaches us. So, I am not suggesting that we stay immature our whole life, but I am suggesting that we maintain an attitude of greenness that will posture us to desire continued growth. It is very important that we stay in the ripening process. It is when we come to the end of that journey that we begin to rot.
I realize that we could push this analogy too far, so I just want to summarize it with three thoughts: First, it is good to have an attitude that you are green because that will cause you to grow; second, it is important to ripen and develop maturity, all the while maintaining a desire to learn, grow, and become better at whatever you endeavor to do; and third, be careful not to have a “know-it-all” attitude and a feeling of having arrived. That is when you will begin to rot and get yourself and others into trouble.
I hope this week you will have a whole new appreciation for the process that good fruit and good people (yes, and the owner-operator of Chick-fil-A) go through each day!
Have a great week! God bless you!
Robert Rohm Ph.D.
Personality Insights, Inc.
The Stanford Research Institute, Harvard University, and the Carnegie Foundation once spent over one million dollars and five years of research studying why some people succeed. After the study was concluded, it was determined that 15% of the reason a person is able to get a job, keep a job, and move ahead in that job, is determined by his or her technical skills and knowledge, regardless of the profession. The other 85% of the reason a person is able to get a job, keep that job, and move ahead in that job, is directly related to people skills. It soon becomes apparent that working with people and managing people, starting with ourselves, must be a high priority if we are going to be successful.
Even though I have heard that statistic quoted many times, I am still amazed at how much of business and life is primarily dictated by the task at hand, rather than the people skills that are necessary to complete the job. It seems to me that because the task often overrides the relationship, we tend to get our eyes on the wrong thing. We frequently focus on accomplishing the task in front of us rather than realizing the value found in relationships.
Almost every marriage begins on a great note because two people set out to build a lasting relationship. However, it is not long until accomplishing tasks becomes the norm. Getting up, going to work, paying the bills, cutting the grass, house repairs, car maintenance, painting the fence..well, I think you get the idea. Can you see how the tasks scream at you and it is not long before it drowns out the relationship?
Anyone who has ever had children understands this as well. It starts with such a beautiful relationship when your own flesh and blood is born into the world. And quickly, the tasks begin - feeding, changing, and watching the baby. That infant quickly becomes a young child. Then, protecting them, raising them, educating them, training them, taking them to school and to all sorts of school activities..I think you get the idea again. See how the task constantly pulls against the relationship? Yet, according to the study that I quoted above, the most important aspect of success has to do with people skills and relationships while only 15% has to do with the tasks that seem to so easily consume us. I don’t know about you, but I find that simply remarkable.
The place I see this demonstrated best is in restaurants. Naturally when you go into a restaurant, you are going there for the purpose of eating. Therefore, it is a task you are trying to accomplish. Yet, stop and think about it for a minute. The person who can either make or break the entire experience is usually the server who waits on you. If they have a positive, upbeat, friendly attitude when you place your order, almost everything goes well. But, if they seem to have a sour, bent-out-of-shape attitude, it immediately makes the experience unpleasant. It even causes the food you order not to taste as good! I would be willing to bet that the majority of the time when we go out to eat most of us have a good experience. However, we have all had a bad experience on occasion. It usually has very little to do with the food and almost everything to do with the relational connection which we call service. That is why the relationship, whether it be in sales or service, must be the deciding factor that carries the day.
Do you treat the people that you work with everyday like they are important to you? What about the people you live with or your extended family? What about those that you hardly know, but whom you come in contact with on a fairly regular basis? One of the most valuable pieces of information that I possess is the knowledge that relationships are more important than things; that people are more important than tasks; and that success, by a large margin, is found in our people skills, not in our technical skills or knowledge.
This week, step back and make a concentrated effort to have a paradigm shift in your life. I am not suggesting in any way that you give up learning the technical skills you need in order to accomplish the tasks you want to see completed. But, put the horse in front of that cart and go out of your way to demonstrate positive, uplifting, encouraging, helpful people skills with those with whom you come in contact. You will see a major difference in your own personal attitude as well as in the success rate of all that you do.
Have a great week! God bless you!
Robert Rohm Ph.D.
Personality Insights, Inc.
Have you ever been around someone who has big dreams? I have. The first time it ever happened to me, it scared me! I found it difficult to wrap my mind around the dreams I heard. At first I thought it was a little silly and maybe even ridiculous. But, over the years I have come to see that dreaming is really one of the most important things a person can learn to do.
In graduate school, my doctoral minor is in psychology and counseling. And, in one of my courses, we studied about dreams. We were taught that there are basically two different types of dreams: inward and outward dreams. An inward dream is based on something that is happening to you. For example: someone is chasing you or you are falling off of a cliff; you are in the mall without any clothes on, trying to find a place to hide; or some other ridiculous variation of that same kind of dream - one that is about you or which is focused on you. Then there are outward dreams. These are dreams in which you are attacking somebody or doing something to someone, like pushing them off of a cliff or out of an airplane. Rather than you being the focal point of the dream, another person gets center stage.
Our professor also taught us that these two types of dreams are the mind’s way of alleviating unresolved guilt and anger that we may have experienced during the day. He said that oftentimes something happens in our life that causes us to feel a little guilty, therefore, inward dreams are the subconscious mind’s way of helping us resolve the guilt for things we have not done correctly, honestly or properly. On the other hand, outward dreams are the mind’s way of expressing anger. For example, when we want to do something to another person to get back at them for cutting us off in traffic or for saying something unkind to us during the day, our subconscious mind has a way of dealing with unresolved situations like that. It is an outward dream which “goes after” another person or thing in order to relieve the anger in our body.
In both of those cases, I thought those were very plausible explanations. I have read and studied other information about dreams and realize that most dreams really are insignificant and basically are our body’s way of dealing with issues that happen during the day. Of course, there are certain, unusual dreams that have much greater meaning, but I will not go into that at this time.
The kind of dreams that I am talking about here have to do with catching the vision for our own greatness. It is the ability to see things before they ever come into existence. We can project ourselves into the future and see things as they can be, long before they become that way in reality.
Many of us are old enough to remember that in the early 1960’s, President John Kennedy stated that we were going to put a man on the moon in that same decade. He envisioned it, he talked of it, and he dreamed about it. That dream captured the minds of the people and resources of our country. And, you know what? His dream came true!
One of my favorite movies is entitled, Tucker: the Man and His Dream. In the movie, Abe was the bottom-line business man and bookkeeper for Preston Tucker. Abe could hardly keep up with all of Mr. Tucker’s new, radical ideas concerning the automobile. Years before anyone else ever thought of it, Tucker had a low-cost car with a fuel injector, rear-mounted engine, disc brakes, pop-out windows, seatbelts, and an aerodynamic design. All of that was in Tucker’s dream. Abe spent so much time around Tucker that it was not long until he caught his dream and his idealism.
The interesting thing about it was, Abe’s mother had warned him concerning Tucker. She told Abe, “Don’t get too close to people or you will catch their dreams.” Since Abe could not hear very well, he thought his mother said, “Do not get too close to people or you will catch their germs.” He thought she was just reminding him not to catch a cold or get sick. However, Abe’s mother was very wise - she knew the truth of this Tip. She knew that hanging around someone who is a big dreamer is contagious and it will not be long until their dreams start to happen to you.
As I was growing up, not much was said about dreaming. I think oftentimes it was looked down upon as a silly waste of time. Now that I am older, I have come to see that dreaming is one of the greatest endeavors in all of life.
What would you like to see happen in your life? What would you like to see take place in your family? What would you like to see occur in your business? What would you like to see happen in your personal financial situation? I can assure you, it all starts with a dream. If you are not much of a dreamer, start hanging around people who are. They are hard to find and there are not many of them, but finding them is well worth the hunt. And, who knows, you may even eventually catch their “disease”!
Have a great week! God bless you!
Robert Rohm Ph.D.
Personality Insights, Inc.
20
Oct
Posted on 2008 under Business, Education, Leadership, Parenting |
Much has been written about leadership over the years and most of it has been very helpful. When I say that leaders are learners, what I mean is that leaders are always on the outlook for some new area of personal growth. As soon as a person believes that there is no more room for growth in a particular area, it will not be long before he or she will be going backwards. That is just the way life is. It is a constant straining to move forward in any endeavor that we might choose.
When I read a book or study a topic, I try to glean as much from it as possible. Sometimes I read information with which I am already familiar. Other times I read on a topic and do not even really know where to start. However, that is the nature of learning anything. No one is born an expert on a particular topic. You can rest assured that anyone who is an expert on anything has spent a lot of time, effort and energy learning how to better perform that particular task, whatever it might be.
I believe that when you wake up every morning, you should wake up with a little bit of excitement that it is a day that has not yet been lived. It is untouched and unexplored. Therefore, there is something exciting, new and different that will happen. When you approach life that way, it takes on a whole new meaning. It becomes an adventure rather than drudgery.
I once heard someone say there are two ways to wake up every morning. One is, “Good morning, Lord!” and the other is, “Good Lord, it’s morning!” I guess you can tell which one I think is better!
If you are not learning and growing in your personal life, then this means you really do not have much of a future. All you have is a longer today! You will just continue to live your life on the basis of what you already know and have experienced up until now. Time will pass and life will get longer, but not better. Is that really living? Is that really any kind of quality life at all? I think you and I both know the answer to that. I do not think I have ever been more excited about life than I am today. However, tomorrow is already looking pretty good!
You might say, “Wait a minute! Aren’t things terrible in the world? Isn’t our economy falling apart? Aren’t there wars being fought? Aren’t people starving to death? Isn’t there a presidential election upon us that will change the course of human history forever?” I certainly think there is something to be said about every one of those questions. But, I refuse to let what is going on all around me control what is going on inside of me. I have found that if I focus on my own personal growth and development; if I focus on learning and growing; if I focus on studying a subject so I can be more intelligent when I am discussing it with family or friends; that puts me in the posture of being able to actually contribute something positive to the circumstances of life rather than to simply whine about them.
Life, indeed, is a process. We are all on a journey and it takes a long time to develop the experience and good sense to deal with unfamiliar circumstances. I can assure you that personal growth will not happen without a conscious effort. We usually find what we are looking for and if we are looking for a way to make our current situation and circumstances better, we will find it.
I believe everyone has leadership ability; it is just a matter of developing it. I know of no better way to develop your leadership skills than learning new truth and information every day. It will not only be a blessing to your own personal life, but also to those with whom you come in contact. It will indeed be a win-win situation that you can be proud of and you will help others grow along this journey that we call life as well.
Have a great week! God bless you!
Robert Rohm Ph.D.
Personality Insights, Inc.